17/10/2026
😡 MR GRUMPY IS BACK – COMMON SENSE HAS LEFT THE BUILDING, BUT AT LEAST THE MARKETS ARE BLOODY GOOD! 😡🤣
Well, here we go again!
Another week on this increasingly ridiculous planet, and I'm starting to think common sense has officially been discontinued due to lack of demand! 🤦♂️
We've got the cost of living going through the roof, supermarkets charging a small mortgage for a decent bit of bacon, politicians arguing over everything, and artificial intelligence apparently preparing to take over the world.
Well, GOOD!
If AI could start by introducing a bit of actual intelligence into everyday life, that would be a bloody marvellous start! 🤣
And Christmas!
It's only October, for goodness' sake! I've barely accepted that summer's finished, and the shops are already trying to flog me inflatable Santas, Christmas puddings and enough flashing lights to land a Boeing 747!
At this rate, Easter eggs will be on the shelves by November! 🙄🎄
BUT FIRST, SOME GOOD NEWS – YES, EVEN MR GRUMPY HAS SOME! 😂
Our markets have been absolutely fantastic lately!
We've had some cracking weekends, brilliant traders, fantastic visitors and a real buzz around our events.
Skipton, Settle, White Rose and Haworth have all given us plenty to smile about, even if I do try my hardest not to show it! 😁
And can we just talk about HAWORTH STEAMPUNK WEEKEND?! 🎩⚙️
WHAT A BLOODY BRILLIANT WEEKEND!
The outfits, the atmosphere, the characters, the effort people put in – absolutely fantastic!
I've never seen so many people wandering around looking like they've stepped out of a Victorian science-fiction film, and somehow every single one of them looked better dressed than me!
Top hats, goggles, waistcoats, incredible costumes and enough brass accessories to keep a scrap merchant in business for the next decade! 🤣
The atmosphere was brilliant, the visitors were fantastic, and our stallholders really embraced the whole occasion.
Honestly, it was one of those weekends that reminds you exactly why we do what we do.
A huge thank you to everyone who visited, supported our traders and helped make it such a cracking event. ❤️
And to all our regular stallholders who've been working their socks off across the markets lately – you're absolute stars.
RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH POSITIVITY. I'M STARTING TO FEEL UNWELL! 🤢🤣
Because, naturally, amongst all this success, there's always the occasional individual who manages to send my blood pressure into orbit!
LET'S TALK ABOUT GAZEBOS! 🎪💨
Now, you wouldn't think putting up a gazebo would require a degree in engineering, would you?
Four legs, a roof, some proper weights and a bit of common sense.
Simple!
Apparently not.
We send out instructions.
We explain the rules.
We tell people what equipment they need.
We even explain why they need it.
And yet some people still turn up with a gazebo, four legs, a prayer and the structural engineering knowledge of a digestive biscuit!
"Have you got your weights?"
"Yes!"
Excellent!
"Are they properly secured?"
"Well, I've got some Sellotape."
SELLOTAPE?!
YOU'VE GOT BLOODY SELLOTAPE?! 😳🤣
What are you planning on doing, gift-wrapping the gazebo to the pavement?!
It's a gazebo, not a birthday present for Auntie Doris!
And when you explain that Sellotape isn't an acceptable method of attaching weights to gazebo legs, suddenly YOU'RE the unreasonable one!
"Well, I've always done it like that!"
OH, WELL THAT'S ALRIGHT THEN!
I'll just have a quiet word with the wind and ask it to behave itself because you've used WHSmith's finest sticky tape!
I'm sure when your gazebo launches itself across the market like a budget Ryanair flight, the insurance company will be absolutely delighted to hear it was secured using stationery! 🤣
And here's the thing…
IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING AWKWARD. IT'S ABOUT SAFETY!
We have a responsibility to protect traders, visitors and everyone else attending our events.
If your gazebo isn't properly secured, you can't trade until it is.
It's really that simple.
But apparently, asking someone to follow basic safety rules is now considered a personal insult!
Good grief! 🙄
NEXT UP – THE FREE EQUIPMENT BRIGADE! 🪑🤣
Now, anyone who knows us knows we'll help people wherever we can.
Need a hand unloading? No problem.
Struggling to get set up? We'll help.
Need some advice? Happy to give it.
But there's helping someone out, and then there's apparently being expected to run a FREE EQUIPMENT HIRE BUSINESS!
"Have you got a table?"
"Can I borrow some chairs?"
"Have you got any weights?"
"Can you bring a gazebo?"
"Have you got some lights?"
"Can I borrow an extension lead?"
GOOD GRIEF!
Would you like me to bring your stock, set your stall up, sell everything for you and have a bacon sandwich waiting when you arrive?! 🥓🤣
Here's a revolutionary idea…
IF YOU'RE RUNNING A BUSINESS, PERHAPS BUYING THE EQUIPMENT YOU NEED TO RUN THAT BUSINESS MIGHT BE A GOOD START!
I know, I know.
Radical thinking for 2026!
But here's the bit that really makes my blood pressure rise.
We've helped traders out with equipment, often at our own expense, because we're decent enough to do so.
Then we explain that, going forward, equipment hire will come with a charge.
Nothing unreasonable.
Just a contribution towards equipment that costs money to buy, maintain, store, transport and replace.
And suddenly…
"Oh, I won't need the equipment anymore."
Oh, brilliant! You've bought your own?
"No."
Oh, you've found somebody else to lend you some?
"No."
"Actually, I won't be attending the market anymore."
WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?! 🤣🤣
So let me get this straight…
You desperately needed the equipment when it was FREE.
But the moment you're expected to pay for it, you suddenly don't need the equipment OR the market?!
Well, that's a shame.
I'll inform the BBC.
Perhaps they'll commission a three-part documentary about the emotional trauma of being asked to pay for a table! 🎥🤣
BREAKING NEWS: STALLHOLDER WITHDRAWS FROM MARKET AFTER DISCOVERING EQUIPMENT COSTS MONEY!
Thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. 🙏😂
And while we're at it, can we discuss the people who seem to think event organisers possess magical powers?
"Will the market be busy?"
Well, I bloody hope so!
"Can you guarantee I'll make money?"
Absolutely! I'll just withdraw a few thousand pounds and hand it to visitors with instructions to spend it at your stall!
"Can you guarantee good weather?"
Of course! I've got God on speed dial. I'll give him a ring once I've finished putting the barriers out!
"Can I have the best pitch?"
Certainly! Just like the other 40 traders who've asked for exactly the same spot!
"Can you make sure nobody sells anything similar?"
Absolutely! I'll personally contact every other business in Yorkshire and tell them to stop making things immediately!
And my personal favourite…
"I didn't sell much. What are YOU going to do about it?"
Well, I could stand behind your stall shouting BUY THIS STUFF, IT'S LOVELY! but I'm not entirely convinced that's going to help either of us! 🤣
HERE'S A LITTLE REMINDER ABOUT WHAT MARKET ORGANISERS ACTUALLY DO!
We find venues, arrange permissions, deal with councils, organise insurance, advertise, promote, manage applications, plan layouts, carry out safety checks, answer hundreds of messages and turn up at ridiculous hours to make everything happen.
And sometimes, believe it or not, we even get to enjoy ourselves!
But apparently we're also expected to be meteorologists, electricians, removal men, equipment suppliers, marketing experts, therapists and miracle workers!
All for the price of a stall pitch.
BARGAIN! 😂
And before somebody says, "Well, you chose to organise markets…"
YES, I BLOODY DID!
I chose to organise markets.
I didn't realise I'd also signed up to run an adult daycare centre for people who can't follow basic instructions! 🤣
NOW, ON TO SOMETHING WE'RE REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO… BRAMHAM PARK CHRISTMAS MARKET! 🎄🏰
And this one is going to be something special!
Saturday 14th and Sunday 15th November 2026.
We've got a fantastic setting at Bramham Park Estate, loads of brilliant independent traders, festive shopping, food, entertainment and all the ingredients for a proper Christmas event.
We're putting an enormous amount of work into making this one a fantastic weekend for traders and visitors alike.
There's been planning, organising, emails, site layouts, more emails, phone calls, paperwork, even more emails and enough cups of tea to fill a small reservoir! ☕🤣
But we're genuinely excited about it.
It's a big step for R.S.H Artisan Markets, and we're looking forward to welcoming everyone to what we hope will be a cracking festive weekend.
And before anyone asks…
NO, WE CANNOT GUARANTEE SNOW! ❄️
NO, WE CANNOT GUARANTEE YOU'LL SELL OUT!
AND NO, YOU CANNOT SECURE YOUR GAZEBO WITH SELLOTAPE JUST BECAUSE IT'S CHRISTMAS! 🤣🤣
Although at this rate, I might put a stall in selling industrial-strength sticky tape and call it The Emergency Gazebo Anchoring Company.
I'd probably make a fortune!
But joking aside, the support we've received for our markets has been absolutely brilliant.
From the regular visitors who come out in all weathers, to the fantastic independent businesses who put so much effort into their stalls, to everyone who shares our posts and helps spread the word.
THANK YOU! ❤️
You really do make all the early mornings, late nights and occasional headaches worthwhile.
Look, I'm a middle-aged bloke.
My knees make more noise than my car, my back goes out more often than I do, and my tolerance for nonsense is getting shorter by the week.
I don't expect perfection.
I don't expect everyone to know everything.
And I'll always help someone who's genuinely trying.
But I do expect grown adults running businesses to take a little responsibility for themselves!
Bring the correct equipment.
Secure your gazebo properly.
Read the bloody emails.
And if you need to hire something, don't act like you've been personally betrayed by the United Nations when somebody tells you it costs money!
To the vast majority of our traders who turn up prepared, work hard, help each other and make our markets such a success…
YOU'RE BLOODY BRILLIANT, AND WE APPRECIATE YOU! ❤️
As for the rest…
I'm considering launching a brand-new event.
THE GREAT YORKSHIRE COMMON SENSE ARTISAN MARKET!
Unfortunately, based on recent experience, we'd probably struggle to fill three pitches! 🤣
Right, I'm off for a brew, two paracetamol and a quiet five minutes before somebody emails asking if Bramham Park comes with free tables, free gazebos, free electricity, guaranteed sunshine and a personal visit from Father Christmas.
And if anyone needs me, I'll be sitting in the corner muttering…
"IT'S A BLOODY GAZEBO, NOT A PARCEL. PUT THE SELLOTAPE AWAY!" 🤬🤣
See you all at the markets, and especially at BRAMHAM PARK CHRISTMAS MARKET ON 14TH & 15TH NOVEMBER! 🎄🎅
MR GRUMPY OUT! 😡☕🤣
P.S. BRING YOUR OWN BLOODY TABLE!
