05/11/2026
Vulnerable post 🫂 Mother’s Day has always carried a lot of mixed emotions for me, and I’m finally ready to share why.
When I was younger, I wasn’t even sure motherhood was something I wanted for myself. But I did know that if I had the ability to help someone else become a parent, I wanted to try.
At 22, I decided to donate my eggs and went through multiple rounds of egg retrieval. After my third round, the doctors removed me from the donor list because the eggs weren’t taking. They explained that because of this, they weren’t sure I would ever be able to have children myself.
I carried that with me and eventually made peace with the possibility that motherhood just might not be part of my story. And I learned to accept that.
Then years later, at 27, in the early stages of my relationship with AJ, we found out we were pregnant.
My heart was so full. But underneath that was also shock, grief, fear and guilt I didn’t quite know how to process.
Over the years, I’ve come to know so many women carrying the weight of infertility, IVF, loss, waiting, and heartbreak that can come with longing to become a mother. So finding myself unexpectedly pregnant after believing for so long that it may never happen for me brought up so many emotions I still can’t fully put into words. It’s something that has stayed with me ever since.
I was incredibly fortunate to carry both of my girls full term, something I will never take for granted. But pregnancy and delivery were not easy experiences for me.
There was and honestly still is, trauma, PTSD, PPD, anxiety, depression, physical scars, and plenty of invisible ones too.
But even through all of it, getting to experience motherhood has been one of the greatest honors of my life.
Getting to show these girls the beauty of nature, watching them learn, grow, become strong and independent little humans and seeing the world through their eyes has changed me forever. Some days I still look at them and can’t believe this is my life.
Continued in comments 🫶🏼
