06/09/2026
I spent close to $100 trying to help someone from a local community group, and I honestly didn’t expect to feel this bothered afterward.
A woman in the group had been posting about how overwhelmed she was. She said rent was hard, unexpected expenses kept coming up, and she was trying to take care of her family while everything was piling on.
I felt bad for her, so after work I stopped at the grocery store and grabbed some things I thought would actually help.
water case , Bread, milk, eggs, pasta, fruit, frozen meals, snacks, and a few household basics.
Nothing fancy. Just normal stuff to hopefully make her week a little easier.
I dropped it all off on her porch and messaged her that it was there. A few minutes later she said thank you, and I was glad I could help.
Then she sent another message.
She asked if next time I could avoid certain brands because she didn’t like them. Then she listed products she wished I had bought instead and even told me which stores carry the versions she prefers.
I just sat there staring at my phone like… wow.
I get that people have preferences. Everybody likes certain brands better than others. But when someone spends their own money and time trying to help, it feels kind of bad when the response turns into a list of what they should have bought differently.
I wasn’t expecting praise. I didn’t want attention. I didn’t need anything back.
But I also didn’t expect to feel like my kindness was being rated like a grocery delivery order.
I still think helping people is the right thing to do, and I don’t regret trying. But I’d be lying if I said that message didn’t take some of the good feeling out of it.
Maybe I’m being too sensitive, but would that have hurt your feelings too, or would you just let it go?
