10/29/2026
(Long and totally not about candles)
Today marks four years since my Mom passed away.
I’ve shared a lot of my grief here over the years. You’ve heard about the hard days and how much I miss my parents. Today, I wanted to share a little of what’s been helping me, too.
Grief can stop you in your tracks. You can love your life, be grateful for what you have, and still carry a sadness that makes it hard to feel like yourself. I’ve lived in that space for a very long time.
I’ve been proud of my family, my son, my marriage, and this business. Heck, I’ve cheered on people who probably had no idea how proud I was of them! But while pouring so much into everyone and everything around me, I wasn’t giving myself that same care.
Here at ‘Ike Loa, I’m always reminding you to take time for yourself and fill your cup. In February, I decided it was time to follow my own advice. I wanted to change where I was putting the energy of my grief and begin putting some of that energy into caring for myself.
I missed feeling like ME, and I knew I needed to make time to find my way back.
Along the way, I’ve had people in my life who have really championed me. People who encouraged me, helped me think about things differently, and reminded me that I deserved the same care I so freely gave everyone else. I’m so grateful for them.
I also started Pilates, and it has helped me tremendously. Making that time for myself, moving my body, and feeling myself get stronger has become something I look forward to. Every time I go, I’m following through on a promise I made to myself.
Roxanne, thank you for getting me to do it. And Cristie , thank you for being the exact instructor I needed at this time in my life. You’ve both helped me more than you know. 🌺
Four years later, I still wish I could call my Mom and tell her everything. I still miss my parents in the middle of the happiest moments. But I’m learning that I can carry that love and grief while also taking care of the life I have.
And for the first time in a very long time, I’m proud of myself for what I’m doing for me.
Today, I’m remembering my Mom with so much love and giving myself some of that love, too!
