11/24/2023
It may seem strange for many of you to learn that there are just a few things that I am truly proud of.
Foremost, breaking the cycle of Intergenerational trauma with my own children.
It was hard.
Actually, REALLY FU***NG hard.
A big part of this was making the decision to stop using co***ne the day I discovered I was pregnant with my son- October 28th 1990.
Since this day, I've endured and overcome countless challenges and truth be told, there were times that relapse, escape, even for a moment, seemed an attractive option.
I lost my sister to drug poisoning November 2010, my Mother, just last year. My sister, a relative novice, my Mother, a seasoned veteran. Yet both died, in much the same way. Isolated, alone and ostersized.
These losses, the unfairness of life, the actions of others that negatively impact us, can send us spiraling and that insidious voice that we work so hard to stiffle, can creep in, try to convince us how much easier that "other" path, would be.
But, it's a lie.
No different than the lie that we "can't", "won't", "could if we really wanted to" and the plethora of judgments society applies to us.
The truth is (and this took me far too long to come to terms with) I am have a condition, and as with any condition, I must be cognizant of things that perhaps others may not need to be. I do however, consider this condition a strength as opposed to a deficiency. This experience allows me to move through my life and the lives of others, with understanding , compassion and patience. What an incredible privilege.
I truly hope, that this message speaks to those who may be coping with their own condition, or perhaps, struggling to understand and cope with that of someone they care for.
Don't ever cease hope.
Yes, there are losses.
There is heartache.
But don't believe the lie.
We can. We do.
Recover ♡
