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Creative Gems

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05/02/2020

"Freedom "

I don't really like this piece. The male bottle is not in proportion and the reddish glaze is wrong.

But I do feel free. As I was building it, I was focusing on, meditating on , freedom.

I believe that freedom comes from one's own mind, your perspective, what you put your attention to, your ability to control your own thoughts, choose your thoughts.

Partly this belief comes from the feeling I was left with about 15 years ago, after reading "Man's search for meaning " by Victor Frankl. An account of his experiences in a concentration camp. I could probably give a whole reading list of literature that has influenced my understanding of the concept of freedom.

The point is, I feel free. Life happens from me, not to me. Circumstances and interactions occur because the thoughts I habitually think, lead to behaviour and decisions that create my life experiences.

I wish everyone could have that.

04/02/2020

"Man of Stone"
"Loyalty" and
"Frog Toxin"

I am quite satisfied with these three pieces. I feel that in combination they demonstrate an adequate level of skill for me as a hobby potter, that enables me to express myself in clay.

What was I expressing? All three pieces relate in some way, to the intense frustration that I was experiencing at that time. How was it possible that I had lived with and loved Arek for seven years, and yet we still did not know and understand each other? How is it possible that, even though I had not had any sexual or romantic interest in anyone else since that first time he told me he loved me, he still thought that I was unfaithful? Why was he pretending that he didn't love me?

"Man of Stone"
Arek told me that he had built a wall around his heart to protect himself from the painful emotions he was experiencing. I think it is still there.

"Frog Toxin"
I felt that Arek needed to understand that I was faithful to him, then everything would change. I thought that he was so deep down the rabbit hole of his delusional perspective that only something radical like Frog Toxin therapy or an ayahuaska retreat would enable him to reset his perspective of reality.

"Loyalty"
This piece was tinged with the frustration of knowing he still loved me, that our hearts were still faithful to each other, but he would not let me in.
Over all it is a much more positive piece though. It was another one where I wrote the title on the base before I started to build, then throughout the whole making process I meditated on the quality of loyalty.
Loyalty feels like; commitment; connection; oneness; timelessness; love; my King is off on a crusade; trust; certainty; patience; acceptance; tolerance; self-awareness.

I can't imagine that they will ever be displayed in Coastal Gallery like Arek's works, but they have a lot of value for me :-)

03/02/2020

Trust #1 and Trust #2

I heard a theory, from a rural African potter, in a documentary. Art should have a purpose. She was making beautifully decorated storage vessels. Well the only purpose of my ceramic "Art" was therapy.

I was at that time having to work very hard with my thoughts about my separation from Arkadiusz Nowicki, to try to find the positives and hold on to my sanity!

Playing with clay helped me to focus positively and strongly on the qualities I had experienced in my relationship with him, that I wanted to build on.

Trust was an important one. I made the bases, wrote "Trust" on them, signed and dated them and started to build. As I worked, I breathed in trust, I breathed out trust.

Trust feels like; everythingis okay; nothing has happened; everything will work out for the best; certainty; knowing; accepting; relax; what's meant to be will be; my happiness comes from me; confidence; life is good; I'm alright; there is always something good to turn my attention to.

I like to feel trust and I like to be trusted. I am trustworthy.

I think that it is important to focus on the things I like and want to experience more of. I find it helps me to notice the extent to which I already benefit from having those qualities or experiences. I feel that my value system is consolidated and enhanced by my consideration and attention.

I am satisfied with these two pieces. I will be keeping them. If you visit me, you will see them on display in my lounge :-)

02/02/2020

Co-creation
The title piece from my final firing.
This was the last firing of my kiln in Arkadiusz Nowicki s studio as he has been given notice on his tenancy.

I heard a theory, from a rural African potter, in a documentary. Art should have a purpose. She was making beautifully decorated storage vessels. Well the only purpose of my ceramic "Art" was therapy.

This piece, Co-creation, means something different to me now than it did when I was making it. Currently it is speaking to me about the eternal relationship between me, Arek and Olivia, the evolving dynamics of our individual desires and the way they interact to impact on the lives that we are living.

It represents Arek's physical separation from us, as apparent but not absolute. It represents my desire for family and connection. It represents Olivia's desire to have "the Daddy back from three years ago. " It represents Arek's desire for freedom.

Shame it looks s**t!
I really don't like that dark green glaze.
If anyone wants it, for any strange reason, I am happy to let it go.

03/04/2019

First few bonsai bowls, thrown yesterday, bottoms carved just now. It's hard, they are rubbish! I'm going to need a lot of practice

02/04/2019

New toy, tool, I mean new tool!

30/03/2019

Back in clay world, today I am working on "Trust "

01/03/2019

At Hayloft Gallery, Christchurch

28/02/2019

Just delivered to the Hayloft Gallery in Christchurch. I wonder how it will look when I arrive tomorrow for my first stint at stewarding.

27/02/2019

The collection is growing. I'll be listing, labeling and packing over the next few days, ready for setting up my little part of the exhibition on Friday

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