20/10/2026
ME vs THE PRINTER… AND THE PRINTER NEARLY WON! 🖨️🤣
Towards the end of this afternoon, at around 3.30pm, I was finishing off some printing on my trusty (and rather elderly!) HP laser printer. With the shop closing at 4pm, I thought I'd soon be finished. Famous last words! 🤣 Suddenly, the printer announced: “PAPER JAM IN DUPLEXER” Oh, wonderful!!
Now, my printer lives underneath the shop counter, squeezed into a very awkward space beside my desk. Putting paper in and collecting printed pages? No problem! Getting to the bits where paper might be jammed? That's another matter entirely! So there I was, sitting on the floor, practically underneath my desk, trying to wrestle with a printer that weighs approximately the same as a small elephant! 🐘
First, I had to remove the folders stored beside it, pull out the paper drawer and manoeuvre the printer forward just enough to open the door at the back.
I opened every door, checked every nook and cranny and investigated every possible hiding place. NOTHING! I even switched it off and back on again, just in case it was imagining the paper jam! No such luck. “PAPER JAM IN DUPLEXER” YES, I KNOW!!! 🤣
Meanwhile, my trusty assistant was remaining wonderfully calm, ready to serve any customers who might come into the shop while I was conducting my investigations at floor level! And the best part? We were both laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation! 😂
Then, suddenly… 💡 A long-forgotten memory surfaced. THE BLOOMIN' LEVER!!! That little lever I'd completely forgotten existed because I don't use this printer half as much these days! A bit more fiddling, one pull of the lever and… THERE IT WAS!!! The offending piece of paper, sitting there looking all innocent after causing so much chaos! VICTORY!!! 🎉
Of course, that wasn't quite the end of it. I still had to put everything back together, replace the paper drawer, return the folders to their rightful places and manoeuvre the printer back into position.
By the time I'd finished, it was time to go home for my evening meal!
What should have been a straightforward little printing job had turned into an unexpected session of floor exercises, problem-solving and uncontrollable laughter!
I'm now seriously considering putting a great big label on the printer saying:
“NEXT TIME, REMEMBER THE BLOOMIN' LEVER!” 🤣
Who needs a gym membership when you've got an elderly HP LaserJet?
And who knew one little piece of paper could provide so much entertainment just before closing time? 😂