19/01/2026
PLEASE READ BEFORE MESSAGING MY PERSONAL INBOX
Everything relating to my mum’s shop and her health has already been explained fully in a previous post. I am repeating the key points here because, despite that, people are still messaging me privately about matters I cannot help with.
My mum is living with dementia. Although she is still waiting for a formal diagnosis, she has been waiting nine months for a dementia assessment and her symptoms are severe and ongoing.
It is important to be absolutely clear about what dementia is.
Dementia is not a temporary illness like a cold or flu. It is terminal. It is a progressive, incurable disease of the brain. It does not just affect memory. It gradually destroys the brain’s ability to function.
Dementia affects memory, understanding, judgement, reasoning, decision-making, concentration, orientation, and awareness. It affects the ability to follow steps, recognise danger, manage time, understand cause and effect, and carry out even basic daily tasks. It can affect movement, coordination, appetite, weight, and cause tremors. It changes behaviour and personality. It removes insight, meaning the person is often completely unaware that anything is wrong.
It does not get better. It gets worse over time. Dementia is also life-limiting, and at this stage we genuinely do not know how long we have left with her. It WILL kill her we just don’t know how long.
To help people understand the reality of her condition right now, this is what daily life looks like.
My mum weighs just over five stone. She has head and hand tremors. Her memory is extremely poor. I have to repeat the same things to her again and again because she cannot retain information. She switches things off without understanding what she is doing, including power sockets and appliances, even when alarms or reminders are in place. Managing anything independently is no longer possible.
She cannot manage basic daily tasks. Getting dressed is difficult. Preparing food is not possible. She cannot organise herself or follow steps. I make her meals. I ensure she eats. I manage her day. I manage her safety. I manage everything. These are not occasional issues. This is constant.
Because of how dementia affects the brain, a person can genuinely believe they are doing things correctly when they are not. They are often completely unaware that anything is wrong and cannot recognise mistakes or understand consequences.
This is why what happened happened.
During this period, my mum continued to take orders because she genuinely believed she was still running the shop as normal. She believed she was ordering stock to fulfil those orders. She was not. She did not understand that systems were no longer functioning or that the business could no longer operate. This was not deliberate, dishonest, or done with any awareness of the consequences.
When I became aware of the situation, I went into the shop myself and completed as many outstanding orders as I physically could. I also paid some refunds out of my own personal funds to help where possible. I did everything I realistically could to limit the impact.
The shop has been closed permanently since November 2025. The premises have since been cleared by the landlord and there is nothing left inside.
I also need to address an assumption that keeps being made.
The fact that I am buying my mum groceries and essentials does not mean I have spare money. It means I am putting myself into further debt to make sure she can eat and has what she needs. I am not being reimbursed for this. I am doing it because she lacks capacity and there is currently no other option.
Trying to secure benefits and support for someone who lacks mental capacity is extremely difficult. I have spent countless hours on the phone being passed from one department to another, told to contact someone else, only to be redirected again. Until that process is resolved, I am covering her basic needs myself, and it is placing me under serious financial strain.
I am not financially stable. I do not have funds available to cover orders, refunds, or debts related to the shop. If I did, I would not be in this position. Buying groceries is not evidence of financial ability, it is evidence of necessity.
For this reason, I am now asking clearly and respectfully that people do not message me privately to chase money, refunds, or orders. There is nothing further that can be done.
That said, if you came to know me through my mum’s shop, you are more than welcome to send me a friend request. I genuinely value the friendships that came from the shop. Messages saying hello, checking in, or asking for general advice (for example help measuring windows or working out how much net curtain you need) are absolutely fine, and I am happy to help in that way.
What I cannot deal with are messages about money.
Please respect this boundary and please stay out of my personal inbox if your message relates to orders or payments.
Thank you to those who have shown kindness, patience, and understanding.
Lisa. 🫶🏼
