21/02/2023
Merce: A Kind Place
A place for self-kindness, self-care, love and healing. I hope you find some comfort here.
"I would love to sometimes not write about things. But it honestly helps me heal. It helps me figure out where I am, where I want to be, where I want to go. Sometimes it just helps me figure out what’s happening... It was important for me to experience that moment. And then it was just as important for me to recount it as I wrote it down. And then maybe to transform it into an actual poem in those four parts, each of them doing something else. And it became both personal and mythic in that moment. And that was really essential to figuring out how that particular day or particular morning was an interesting kind of awakening for me.
I thought healing was easier but it turns out much much harder.
One day I’m okay, I start to question is it real or not.
One day I meet someone I like, I start to distract myself to not get them involved.
One day I found myself sad, I tell myself some days like this are normal.
One day I’m happy, I doubt if it is really what I feel.
Healing is a hell of a ride.
Healing can be a muted merry-go-round or roller coaster fright.
And that's why it is important to always remind myself that I will never get to be fully healed if I consider every single conceivable thought in my head.
Because.. to heal.. is simply.. just to feel better.
Now I'm sitting outside in the sun and while there still is pain and fear in the world, I know that it's not the only thing out there.
Sometimes you have to drag yourself out of that bubble or of that hole to actually see what's behind those walls you built yourself up. They were originally there to protect you, and it's scary to look what's behind, but maybe you will notice that the wall was so big that not even sunshine could come through. And maybe when you look what's behind there, and your face feels the first gentle kisses of the sun and your ears hear the first birds sing after such a long time, maybe then you will begin to heal."
-c sterces