10/08/2024
Yesterday during therapy I was going down a rabbit hole and sharing how ridiculous & vapid it feels to have goals, dreams and aspirations while watching the world implode and witnessing so much hurt, violence and devastation and an official year of live-streamed g3nocide. I have really high expectations for myself and a big ass bleeding heart and there’s often a voice that gets fairly loud telling me that I’m not doing enough + that I am not enough.
My therapist Isita has been lovingly holding my hand for the last almost 3 years really cheerleading me working through that narrative with patience and grace, but it tends to get louder as the world gets more and more chaotic to be a human in. As I was word vomming all of the different problems of the world that I wholeheartedly believe we all can solve together, Isita gently stopped me and reminded me of how much inspiration, color and hope I bring to so many people that I may not even know about. That there are so many ways that I share my love, care & creativity with my community & the world and that the work that I do DOES matter and makes more of an impact than I can ever understand.
And then she said something that made me stop our session for a solid 2 minutes to just sit with. She said,
“Sam, even one drop of food coloring is going to change the color of the water”
🎙️ 👊🫳💥
Mic fu***ng drop.
My visual learning ass was like oh….OH!
Then it made me really think about how many of us are walking around with pockets bursting full of delicious loving seeds of wisdom, experience & hope that we don’t even know are spilling and being planted that eventually grow entire blooming gardens that we may never see. And how beautiful and brilliant it is to know that we’re all just wandering around planting flowers in each other’s hearts and minds and changing the colors of our waters and how that makes me want to melt into a puddle of goo and sparkles and give the whole world a hug.
I needed these words yesterday & maybe you need them today. I hope you know that you are enough, just as you are. I hope you know that you are changing the world one drop of color at a time. Proud of you, babe 🫂