05/30/2024
My happiness, is my sadness.
You are always here,
for me,
with me.
Understanding me, more and more,
day by day.
The shadow of my voice,
you are the exact comprehension of my every thought.
Understanding any and everything I say,
what I mean, all my reasons for any actions,
hearing the words I may never say.
The blood flowing through my brain,
an adrenaline rush through my thoughts.
Emotions, thoughts; connecting together as paper and pen.
Ink dripping, words spewing, thoughts escaping,
dying, as if I had been struck through the heart with an arrow.
Sadness suffocating me,
as if every breath, every thought. Were killing me.
Being drowned by this wrongful society, constantly judging, always wondering.
“How could your sadness possibly give you any happiness?”
Thinking, “Being sad isn’t good.”
Saying, “How awful.” But not really caring.
Or “That’s stupid, that makes no sense.”
I beg to differ,
the only thing making me want to strive to make this world better.
Is indeed, my sadness.
So, that is not dumb in my perception,
possibly selfless, maybe caring?
But no, not dumb, or stupid, or irradical.
To help as I would want help.
Straining to think the most positive every second, of every day.
Realizing cruel realities of life,
learning more to appreciate hopes and aspirations,
purely the little things.
Learning the bad that life may hold,
and accepting any happiness it may bestow.
Realizing the “ugly truth” is much more beautiful than the prettiest lie.
Maturing to the point that I understand true love
is so much “cooler” than having s*x.
Knowing that everyone is exceptional in a different way, their own way.
Seeing there is no reason to judge upon anyone else,
questioning the reasons of society, reasons for judging, and betrayal.
Trying to give meaning to the meaningless, and hope to lost.
And love to the broken.
Knowing good may not be good enough, maybe not ever for society.
But understanding that trying is all I can truly do.
So sadness is not “bad”, it is simply an emotion, all natural.
And with emotions you go through situations, through life.
To live, laugh, and love.
To embrace happiness as long as you have it.
With your emotions you find yourself.
You will find your happiness, lead by emotions, as signs down the road of life.
And my emotion of sadness is not happy,
but I am happy to more so understand life. Day, by each day.
Sadness is leading me, guiding me to my purpose, to my happiness.
Helping to become the best person I can be,
and for that I am happy to have the realization of life,
and what true happiness may be
