07/01/2026
I am constantly talking myself out of posting things like this because I’m not at the finish line. I’m barely past the starting line. I’ve spent 42 years being stressed out, disappointed in myself, creating insanely unrealistic expectations, and being uncomfortable in my every day existence. I don’t know what it feels like to relax. And I’m just now realizing that is not ok. So I embarked on this little journey to slowly overhaul my life and step into a softer version of me. Not weaker, not more submissive, not lacking. Just softer. Learning to set the armor down a little more each day and allow myself to just exist without chaos. It still feels crazy foreign which is why I never share these thoughts. Part of my stressful existence is this idea that I can’t speak on something if I’m not all knowing. And do I know everything about living a stress free, confident, calm life? Clearly no. But I do know what it’s like to want it. To crave it. To feel guilt when moving toward it. And maybe that is important to share too. Maybe one day I’ll look back at how silly and naive I was, but for right now this is what things look like. 99% chaos, 1% peace. Working on changing those numbers in a big way.