Pessimystic Party

08/27/2025

🩸 The history of medicine is plagued with men doing ‘what is best.’
But what if the tools were forged in ⚔️ violence?
What if the cures were designed to control rather than care?

📖 OUT NOW: our new issue looks unflinchingly at the origins of gynecology.

Prepare yourself.

✨ Follow us for a week of revelations.
💭 What part of medical history do you want to see exposed?

Read at www.pessimysim.com or dm to get your physical copy.

Click on the Logo Where You Want to go

08/12/2025

The seal is broken. The collection is complete. It has arrived. 📜🗝️

You may glimpse the digital version at www.pessimysim.com... 👀
..but true understanding comes from holding it in your hands. To own a physical copy, send us a direct message. It is worth the quest. ✨✍️

Be warned: The coveted apocrypha is only found within the Grimoire Edition. Secure yours before they vanish. ⏳️📚

08/06/2025

What is this?🧐👀

We are unsealing the first Apocrypha.

This is not a book of cures, but a codex of histories. A deep dive into the forgotten lore and esoteric knowledge that underpins our world. Consider it your essential intellectual side quest. 🧠

This coveted knowledge is a reward for the truly dedicated, available EXCLUSIVELY for those who purchase the Grimoire Edition. ✨

Will you unlock these secrets? 🗝️ DM for purchase

08/05/2025

What if the tools designed to heal you were actually forged in violence? What if the cures were more poisonous than the disease?

We've been dissecting the history of women's health, and what we've found is... brutal.

A new issue of Pessimystic Poisons arrives this Saturday. Prepare yourselves.

08/04/2025

Tired of being told it's "just cramps"? So are we. 😠

Get your first look at Issue IV, where we’re ripping the lid off the medical establishment's long history of neglecting women. 💥 It’s time to take back control. 💪

We're showing you how with the raw power of herbalism—from crushing menstrual pain to the potent, hushed-up history of abortifacients. 🤫

This is healthcare, on our own terms. 🌱🔥✊

07/31/2025

The finish line is in sight! 🏁 We've been working nonstop and almost ALL current orders are packed and ready to ship out this Monday! 🚀

In the meantime, can we tempt you with what's coming next month? 👀

✨ SNEAK PEEK ALERT! ✨
Every physical copy of Issue 4 will come with one of these exclusive prints for FREE! Trust us, holding one of these in your hands is going to be WAY better than just seeing it on screen. 😉

You are DEFINITELY going to want a physical copy for this!
💰 Price: $10 / $15 (depending on the version)
🗓️ Release: Next Month!

07/23/2025

JULY TRIED TO BREAK ME, BUT I'M BACK, BACKLOG-BUSTING, & BRINGING NEW SALES YOUR WAY!

🤯 JULY UPDATE: TECH-POCALYPSE & TRIUMPHS! YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT! 🤯

This month was a WILD RIDE – my printer, computer, Wi-Fi, AND car ALL decided to stage a simultaneous rebellion! Talk about a total meltdown! 😱

But guess what?! I FOUGHT BACK! 💪 Everything's (mostly) FIXED, and I'm practically CHAINED to the printer, blasting through that backlog of orders that need to get out the door ASAP! 📦

🚨 IMPORTANT HEADS UP! 🚨 To prioritize YOUR patiently-awaited orders, this month's special release is getting a SLIGHT delay until next month – but it'll be SO WORTH THE WAIT, I PROMISE! 😉 (Psst... does picture 3 hold a SECRET CLUE? 🕵️‍♀️)

🎉 HUGE NEWS! 🎉 Get ready, because SALES ARE OFFICIALLY BACK! I'm bringing back some of your favorite traditional FB auctions, PLUS a BRAND NEW, experimental style that I think you're going to ABSOLUTELY LOVE! ❤️‍🔥

You all are absolutely INCREDIBLE, and your patience means the WORLD to me! 🙏 Keep those eyes PEELED – you won't want to miss the FUN THINGS coming your way! ✨

07/11/2025

Alright, let's talk about that good news. 🤙

The wait is almost over. We've just secured a new printer and it’s officially en route. 🚚💨

We know delays are frustrating, and we appreciate you sticking with us. To make it right, if your order has been held up, we're adding a FREE copy of our latest issue to your shipment. No strings attached.

Thanks for being a legend. We can't wait to get these out to you.

06/18/2025

Experiencing some technical issues that is delaying issue II printing -_- should be getting the printer back online today stay tuned

06/16/2025

🚨 Sleep-deprived and desperate? We got you. 🚨

Issue III out now!

Check out our (Mostly) Legal Remedies to insomnia. We definitely DO NOT advocate you make your own o***m, but it sure is effective...

Scan the code. Your dark circles will thank you. 👇