05/10/2026
I’m angry.
That’s where I am with your absence. As today crept up on me, there had to be an acceptance that I am angry. I want you here for all the things and I don’t want to live in optimism, or look at the bigger picture today. I want you. That’s the worst part of life, loosing it. Especially when you don’t get the chance to grow old together. I’m supposed to be getting older with you. You’re supposed to be watching me get older and wiser and life wasn’t set up that way for us.
I’m angry because I even though I have you as a guide now, I didn’t want it that way. I miss your laugh, and the face you’d make when you found out something juicy. The way you would call me your number one son even though I know you loved all of us equally. I miss you so much and I hate that you resorted to IG posts and facebook statuses. But I have to make the choice to choose happiness over anything else. That’s hard but I will try.
I am angry because I love you and I just want you here and this is the 4th go round and there’s a lifetime left to grieve your absence.
Happy Mother’s day mom.