08/26/2026
I Didn’t Realize How Far I’d Gone!!…
I almost didn’t post this.
Not because I don’t have anything to say.
Because I’m a somewhat private person, and some things are easier to live through than they are to say out loud.
But lately I’ve been thinking about how many people are walking around looking completely fine while something inside them is anything but fine.
She was still working.
Still talking to people.
Still trying to build my businesses.
Still showing up when she absolutely had to.
From the outside, she probably looked like she was just tired from a hard day/week of work.
But once she got home and that door closed behind her?
She’d disappear for hours in her space somewhere outside of herself.
Sometimes days on end.
The house started looking like a reflection of what was happening in in her head. Or as some would say “who did it and what fo.”
Laundry piled up.
Things didn’t get put away.
Cleaning became something she did only when absolutely necessary—even though cleaning is literally part of what she did for other people. It was not just her job, it was her small business.
Life started weighing on her.
Her age was showing her, the life you rushed to get to (“I can’t wait to get older”) as a child, wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
Her body was hurting.
She was gaining weight.
Her energy was disappearing.
And somewhere along the way, she stopped recognizing herself. “Who the heck is that person in the mirror?”
The strangest part?
She didn’t realize how bad it had gotten while she was living in it. It’s like she was watching someone else’s life spiral into nowhere land.
She just kept telling herself:
“I’ll deal with it tomorrow.”
Then tomorrow became next week.
Next week became next month.
Until one day she looked around and thought:
What the hell happened?
I’m not posting this to say any of us has all the answers.
She don’t.
I’m posting it because maybe somebody else is standing in the middle of their own mess right now, wondering how they got there.
Maybe they need to know they’re not the only person who has ever looked okay on the outside while struggling behind a closed door.
Sooooo, I woke up on Thursday and said “this s**t has to stop! This isn’t you! I got on my knees, pours my heart out and with the strength I have built in, and the faith I am grounded in, along with the full belief in God, I’m finding my way back.
Sometime this thing called life hits us with a right hook, an uppercut, a jab or a KO, but we just have to be the strongest for ourselves quietly before shouting it out loud.
Quietly.
We take one thing at a time—Clean 1 room, read 1 chapter in the Bible/inspirational book, whatever you read, take a walk, do some dishes.
Take your time, for yourself, love yourself, treat yourself. No more pretending you’re ok, or that you don’t need yourself too.
I decided to make me a (I used the red cabbage cause I do t like the green) and my meat of choice was ground lamb. That’s my way of treating myself because if I eat better I feel better, and look better as well.
Who’d ever believe something I grew up eating in the Caribbean would be something going viral on social media. 🤷🏾♀️
