01/22/2026
With Winter Storm Fern barreling down on us like an uninvited guest who brought the entire polar vortex as plus-ones, we wanted to remind everyone of the official Biscuit-to-Snow Measurement Ratio (patent pending, because science). Remember: Every 3 inches of snow = 1 tall, flaky southern-style biscuit stacked to perfection. So, stock up on flour, butter, and buttermilk, folks—your driveway might soon need a full breakfast buffet to measure properly!
Here are the latest snowfall predictions converted into Biscuits (because inches are for amateurs, and flapjack fans might accidentally think this is a pancake party and not prepare for the real buttery avalanche):
• Southern Plains (TX Panhandle, OK, KS, NM): 6–12+ inches → 2–4+ biscuits (that's a solid brunch stack—grab your gravy!)
• Mid-South / Mississippi & Ohio Valleys (AR, TN, KY, MO, southern IL/IN): 6–15 inches → 2–5 biscuits (enough for a family reunion... or a very tall snowman with abs)
• Mid-Atlantic (DC, VA, MD, PA, NJ, DE): 8–14 inches (up to 18+ in spots) → 3–5 biscuits (possibly 6 if you're in the higher terrain—time to call in reinforcements!)
• Northeast (NYC, Boston, New England): 8–16+ inches → 3–5+ biscuits (upstate NY could hit 6–7 biscuits—that's a full biscuit tower worthy of Instagram glory)
• Appalachians & higher elevations: 12–24+ inches → 4–8+ biscuits (historic levels—your roof might need a biscuit break!)
Pro tip for the flapjack folks: Pancakes don't stack nearly as high or hold up under pressure like a proper biscuit. Don't get caught flat-footed (or flat-caked)—prep those snow shovels, emergency kits, and maybe a few extra batches of biscuits for morale.
Stay warm, stay safe, and may your snow be fluffy and your biscuits even fluffier!